Completely Random: Bulleted Thoughts

• My sister-in-law is about nine weeks pregnant. After years of trying, she and her husband have finally conceived, and I am thrilled for them. I generally try to avoid dispensing advice to first -timers in the wonderful world of pregnancy, because I understand how utterly saturated you can become with the lovely stand-by tidbits like, "Well, sleep now, because you'll never sleep again" and so on. I don't ogle bellies or back ends in an attempt to discern the sex of the baby, because frankly, hearing "Oh, look at the size of your behind, that is a girl you are carrying" once is more than enough. I try to listen, sympathize, and just be there for someone. I also try and make a point of making them feel special, because you can't get enough of that when you're pregnant. There are a few things I wish I had known, though. Or at least, had listened to when someone told me, because someone probably told me. Example: It isn't true that you will never sleep again. You will sleep, you just won't sleep as much or as well. So you should enjoy the manner and duration of your current sleep. My sister-in-law keeps saying, "Well, I know what it's like to have a baby because I baby-sit yours". I find fault with that logic, because 1.) she did not start watching him until he was six weeks old, and those first six weeks can be the roughest, and 2.) once I get off work, I show up and take my baby home. So after a few hours her baby obligation is over, and she can nap, or take a shower, or paint her toenails, or clean out the closets, or whatever, for as long as she wants, whenever the mood strikes her. When the baby is your baby, no one shows up to pick it up and take it home and suddenly, you find napping and showering and toenail painting and closet cleaning something that has to be condensed into the nap of a newborn, however long that may be - maybe twenty minutes, maybe two minutes, maybe an hour or more. Who knows? And at least for me, the toenail painting quickly falls by the wayside in favor of the showering. My feet might not be pretty but at least they're clean. But I don't say any of that, because she wouldn't listen, anyway, and I think it's just something you have to find out for yourself.

• A guilty mother's confession: I was absolutely thrilled to drop my kids off this morning. I'm exhausted and grumpy and not good company for anyone, and that's not even mentioning having to spend my work day serving the general public, of whom my opinion is low even on a good day. Bubba had a horrible night and I ended up getting a grand total of 4 broken hours of sleep, and then Bella was in rare form this morning: "Mom, did you eat my tic-tacs? Mom, why did you eat my tic-tacs? Mom, are you going to get me more tic-tacs since you ate all these?" (By the way, I did not eat the tic-tacs, her father did, but he had already left for work and was not there to catch the blame) "Mom, where's my Sierra mist? Mom, did you drink my sierra mist? Mom, I want more sierra mist. Mom, dad said he would take me to auntie's house but he left for work. Mom, why would you let dad leave when you knew he said he would take me? Mom, are you just going to let Bubba cry? Mom, Bubba is looking at you and you aren't even paying attention to him. Mom, when can you get more tic-tacs?" and so on and on and on. I took them to my sister-in-law, dropped them off, and practically skipped to the car. Hooray! Off to work!

• I remember when Bella started eating solid foods I insisted on making all of her food myself, from fresh, organic produce. My mother-in-law would buy jarred baby food at the grocery store, and I remember feeling as though this were some sort of slight against me, or she was disregarding my wishes (I'm not proud. But I'm honest!). I never said anything to her, because I knew she was just being nice and trying to make sure Bella had food at her house, but I was slightly offended by it nonetheless. Fast forward to today, with baby number two: the other day on the phone she told me, "I haven't bought any baby food, because I know how you like to make it yourself". Oh, um, yeah. Crap. Now I wish she would buy it, so I can stretch the homemade stuff and not have to transport it around. Things really do change with the second baby. With Bella, if anyone fed her something off the table I would be upset and absolutely certain that she was going to be a miserable and gassy mess. Bubba has tried all sorts of table food, the most recent being the chicken and green bean casserole I made for dinner the other night (he didn't like it). I couldn't have imagined doing anything but co-sleeping with Bella. Now Bubba and I co-sleep and I can't wait to get him settled into his own bed - that cannot happen fast enough. I love the little guy, but neither of us sleep well when we sleep together.

• That's about it for now. I'm going to zombie my way through the day and count the hours until I can collapse somewhere and sleep, even if for just a little while.