Monday, December 31, 2007

No baby this week

That was what my doctor said this morning. No baby this week, but he thinks it will be in two or three weeks (I really have four weeks to go, to my 'official' due date. But, as he said, when you're dealing with nature, it's all just a guessing game. I am dilated two centimeters, but not effaced in the least, so something is happening, but not a whole lot. And that's fine - baby needs to stay in as long as he needs to stay in, I'm cool with that. For now. Ask me again next week. I have already had two sniveling fits about being big and miserable and ready to have this baby, and there's four weeks to go. That's all for now. Happy New Year to all. Hopefully midnight will find me asleep, that's my wish for the new year. Blessed, peaceful sleep. Best to all!

Saturday, December 29, 2007

Not fair!

I am sick. Hacking, congested cough, snotty nose, sore throat. I would like it duly noted for the record - someone in the great scheme of things, please jot this down: it is not fair to be nine months pregnant and sick. Your energy is already sapped. Precious sleep is already at a minimum. You can't take any medicine, at least not anything that really works. When you cough or sneeze, the danger of peeing on yourself is very great. Add to the cough/cold combination another unpleasant condition that starts with a 'C' (I am, as a dear friend puts it, 'all stoved up', if you catch my drift), and I am miserable. But that's OK, it will get better. Because it has to get better. Right? Right? Anybody? It's gonna get better, right?

I have an appointment with my OB on Monday morning, so I will survive until then. And then if I'm still feeling icky he can (hopefully) give me something or suggest something that will help me. And then I can find out if I'm dilated or anything so I can reassure those around me that the baby is not going to explode out of me at any random moment just around the corner. I am trying to be a good sport about it, but comments from random strangers about my size or impending labor are getting irritating. And when people (some people, not all) find out that I have less than a month to go, they freak out a little bit - the other day at work a couple I was helping actually backed up from me slightly, as though they were going to get sprayed with something. Like amniotic fluid was going to shoot out of my nose. And then there was the older gentleman who I was assisting the day after Christmas, who told me that I must be having quadruplets, because I was just so big. Har-har, sir. I have a baby inside me that makes my belly large; what is your excuse?

Christmas went well. We weren't sure Jacelyn was going to be up to midnight Mass, with her being sick, but she napped from about 2:00 until almost 8:00 and woke up refreshed and ready to go. I was grumpy and disgruntled, but then I am grumpy and disgruntled a lot of the time lately, so it was nothing new. Brian and Jacelyn left around 11:30 to get seats, and I stayed behind for another ten minutes or so to make sure everything was ready for Santa to come while we were gone. She behaved very well through Mass, and afterwards we went to Brian's parent's house for presents. And after that we went to our house for presents, so we were up until almost 5am. It makes me tired just typing it!

My sister woke me up the next morning around 11am, and I hurriedly got up and started getting the ham in the oven. Brian was in the kitchen at the same time, and I got very territorial - I wanted him out of my kitchen. I even said a couple of time - "YOU ARE IN MY WAY". He was trying to finish up some pies he had started making the night before, so he was just sitting around spreading cool whip, but he was in my way just the same. He at one time said something about prepping the chicken and turkey at our house before heading to his mother's house to cook them (he was frying them, because this is the south and we love to fry stuff), but I nixed that idea very quickly. I had to baste the ham, make cornbread, make macaroni and cheese, make tea, clean the kitchen and front bathroom...I could go on and on. And did go on and on.

But despite having everyone over at our house, despite a sick child and a sore back, it was a good Christmas. My Christmas spirit has flown the coop, however. There are still things to be done around the house before Little Guy gets here, and the Christmas tree is holding me back. As much as I would like to keep it displayed for the proper amount of time, I am ashamed to admit that I want it gone. I want the snowmen candles gone. I want the lights in the dining room window gone. I want it all gone, and everything in its' proper place. I have a hormone-fueled desire to be ready, darnit. And if you don't listen to those hormones...well, just look out.

School does not resume until January 7th, but there is a part of me that realizes this time is the last time I will have before the baby is born to not be dealing with the school routine (up early, driving all over creation, etc). And I still have to work - a good catholic education does not pay for itself, alas. I want to get things done while the getting is good. And if that means cutting the Christmas season a bit short, in the decorative sense....well, so be it. There's always next year.

I still need to pack my hospital bag. I still don't know what exactly to pack for Little Guy. I don't know where to keep my hospital bag once I have packed it - in my car? At the house? I am mulling over when I should install Little Guy's car seat. And should it go in my car? Will we be taking my car to the hospital, or Brian's? I am a confused mess. But I'm getting by.

Merry Christmas to all, and I wish you a Happy New Year, as well.

Wednesday, December 12, 2007

Too much thinking

I realized today, as I was waddling up to the convenience store to get a soda, that I am very blessed. I might not feel 100% - my back hurts, things ache, I'm constantly tired, I'm an emotional train wreck, I could go on and on - but I can still get around. I can still take Jacelyn to and from school, get to and from work, actually be somewhat (only somewhat, though) productive while at work, and take care of my house (laundry, dishes, etc.). So I thank God for that, and I thank the good support system I have in my family and friends for making my life easier. So thanks, y'all.

The catch to all of the above? It's hard to remember sometimes. My due date seems to be so far away when I'm dealing with physical discomfort, yet so close when I think about the things that need to be done. One of my goals for the month at work is to not go into labor, and people laugh, but I mean it. I need to get my inventory finished (an enormous task - 10,000 or so books, single sheets and whatnot to count all by hand), I need to leave the department in some sort of decent order so that the poor people that have to take care of it while I'm on leave can actually find things. And that's just at work!

As far as the house goes....yikes. I went so far as to cull the newborn sized items out of the stuff I got at my baby shower and put it in a basket for washing, but have since stalled out. The basket is sitting on my dining room table, glaring accusingly at me every time I walk by it. But in my sick little head, I now need to go through the clothes I saved from when Jacelyn was a baby and get that newborn stuff, so I can wash all of the newborn stuff at the same time. Then I have to find a place to put it, which is going to involve purchasing some sort of bin or basket system to go on one of the shelves of the changing table. BUT - the shelf of the changing table on which I hope to place said newborn sized clothes warped while in storage, and either needs to be magically straightened (which I'm thinking I'll try shoving it under our mattress - if the weight of the two of us can't straighten that out, nothing can) or replaced. Then I need to figure out which of the newborn clothing is coming to the hospital - we have a little outfit for him to wear for his pictures, but will he wear that home, or should I bring something else? Since it's winter do I need to bring pajamas for him to wear in the hospital, or what? Jacelyn was born at the end of April, so she just wore a t-shirt and diaper while we were in the hospital. I don't know! And I need to pack a bag for myself. And I suppose something for Brian, although I don't know - I think I would like him to be with me while in labor, but I would also like him to be home with Jacelyn at night, if I end up having to stay an overnight. I'm thinking too much and its' making my head hurt.

Jacelyn was invited to two birthday parties over the weekend, and there is a girl scout caroling thing Sunday, as well. I don't want to go. To any of it. I want to stay home in my pajamas. We did a birthday party last weekend. Then next week at school we have the School Christmas program. Last year did not go so well (see here), so I'm hoping this year will be better. Then a half day Wednesday, and then she is done with school for two and a half weeks. Yikes! I'm not ready. And of course, I think about next Christmas, when my sister-in-law won't be here, and I'll have to make arrangements for someone to watch Jacelyn and the baby. And then I get all stressed out. And you know what helps with stress? Cookies. So I'm going to go have a cookie and try and forget all this.