Too much thinking

I realized today, as I was waddling up to the convenience store to get a soda, that I am very blessed. I might not feel 100% - my back hurts, things ache, I'm constantly tired, I'm an emotional train wreck, I could go on and on - but I can still get around. I can still take Jacelyn to and from school, get to and from work, actually be somewhat (only somewhat, though) productive while at work, and take care of my house (laundry, dishes, etc.). So I thank God for that, and I thank the good support system I have in my family and friends for making my life easier. So thanks, y'all.

The catch to all of the above? It's hard to remember sometimes. My due date seems to be so far away when I'm dealing with physical discomfort, yet so close when I think about the things that need to be done. One of my goals for the month at work is to not go into labor, and people laugh, but I mean it. I need to get my inventory finished (an enormous task - 10,000 or so books, single sheets and whatnot to count all by hand), I need to leave the department in some sort of decent order so that the poor people that have to take care of it while I'm on leave can actually find things. And that's just at work!

As far as the house goes....yikes. I went so far as to cull the newborn sized items out of the stuff I got at my baby shower and put it in a basket for washing, but have since stalled out. The basket is sitting on my dining room table, glaring accusingly at me every time I walk by it. But in my sick little head, I now need to go through the clothes I saved from when Jacelyn was a baby and get that newborn stuff, so I can wash all of the newborn stuff at the same time. Then I have to find a place to put it, which is going to involve purchasing some sort of bin or basket system to go on one of the shelves of the changing table. BUT - the shelf of the changing table on which I hope to place said newborn sized clothes warped while in storage, and either needs to be magically straightened (which I'm thinking I'll try shoving it under our mattress - if the weight of the two of us can't straighten that out, nothing can) or replaced. Then I need to figure out which of the newborn clothing is coming to the hospital - we have a little outfit for him to wear for his pictures, but will he wear that home, or should I bring something else? Since it's winter do I need to bring pajamas for him to wear in the hospital, or what? Jacelyn was born at the end of April, so she just wore a t-shirt and diaper while we were in the hospital. I don't know! And I need to pack a bag for myself. And I suppose something for Brian, although I don't know - I think I would like him to be with me while in labor, but I would also like him to be home with Jacelyn at night, if I end up having to stay an overnight. I'm thinking too much and its' making my head hurt.

Jacelyn was invited to two birthday parties over the weekend, and there is a girl scout caroling thing Sunday, as well. I don't want to go. To any of it. I want to stay home in my pajamas. We did a birthday party last weekend. Then next week at school we have the School Christmas program. Last year did not go so well (see here), so I'm hoping this year will be better. Then a half day Wednesday, and then she is done with school for two and a half weeks. Yikes! I'm not ready. And of course, I think about next Christmas, when my sister-in-law won't be here, and I'll have to make arrangements for someone to watch Jacelyn and the baby. And then I get all stressed out. And you know what helps with stress? Cookies. So I'm going to go have a cookie and try and forget all this.