Thursday, February 08, 2007

Sometimes, sh*t just don't work out

Nothing is going the way I want it to. Nothing is going too badly, don't get me wrong, and while things could be decidedly worse, I am not pleased. I have reached a wall with my journeys into the world of faith and religion (nothing I can't handle, but frustrating nonetheless). And home life just sucks. Sucks, sucks, sucks. I take Jacelyn home where the in-laws, once again, are preparing to go shopping. It's a gorgeous day outside, most other children her age are already outside or are preparing to go outside, and she's suiting up for a trip to Wal-Mart. Sigh. I feel guilty, for not giving her a more normal life, or lifestyle. No backyard to play in (the backyard where we are now is not the most child-friendly), no swingset or sandbox. No parks in walking distance. No good roads to ride a bike on, and not even really a bike--the big wheel that stays at our house has some steering issues. She got roller skates for Christmas that have never seen the light of day. Her helmet, knee and elbow pads ended up at Michelle's house where I believe them to be lost forever. Sigh. Oh well. I'll figure something out. She spends her afternoons shopping, watching cartoons, or playing video games. That's not right or healthy for a 4-year old. On occasion, there's nothing wrong with the above, but not every day. I'll work it out - I always do.

On a high note, Jacelyn was good at church today. The bishop was there for Mass, and she was warned repeatedly about the expectations for her behavior. The report was positive; when the teacher put her in the car she said, "Much better today!". Jacelyn's take on the whole thing: she was good, and she liked his hat. When I asked her what he talked about she said, "Church stuff. Can I have my fruit snacks?". Oh well. She was good, that was enough for me.

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