Sunday, March 01, 2009

I apologize in advance

This paragraph involves some tummy trouble - no details, certainly, but a couple of anecdotes that have amused me. Just a warning! There were some troubling stomach issues happening in my house today. In the midst of the gastric distress the internal flush mechanism on Bella's commode broke off, something I determined to be a matter of replacement and not repair. Since we have to let maintenance handle that and they are not around on Sundays, when flushing has been needed - and it's been needed a lot around here today, I'm sorry to say - I just lift the lid off the toilet tank and pull up the little valve thingy (like my technical plumbing terms?) myself. This distresses Bella greatly, and every time I have done it she shrieks and runs away and then won't come near me for the better part of a half hour or so. If I actually touch her, for some reason, she is completely grossed out - "Mom, you just put toilet water in my hair, that is sooooo nasty". I have explained that the water in the tank is actually clean water, and that I am washing my hands thoroughly after each manual flush, but she just can't see past the fact that I am putting my hands in the toilet.

I wanted to remind her of a time, when she was about four years old, that she came out of the bathroom looking very smug, walked over to me and said, "Mom, I couldn't reach the sink to wash my hands, but it's OK because I washed them in the toilet. And then I flushed it, because it saves water that way". Horrors!

I will segue from there to one more story: a few years ago Brian bought me a nice watch for Mother's Day. A few days later I was in the bathroom, cleaning, and took it off and put it up on a shelf with the towels so it didn't get wet. I cleaned the tub, scrubbed the commode and flushed it, then turned to start cleaning the sink, but when I turned I bumped the shelves with my elbow and jostled the watch, knocking it off the shelf. I tried to grab it while it was falling (towards the toilet bowl), doing this awkward, catching-dropping-bumping thing that felt like it was going in slow motion - I could actually hear myself saying, "NOOOOOOOO....." - and the watch dropped right into the last little bit of water and swirled away, never to be seen again. I had literally flushed my gift down the toilet.

I 'fessed up to Brian when he got home from work, hating it the whole time, knowing full well he would never let me live it down. And he hasn't - to this day, when I say I want something, he teases me about it, in a good-natured way, of course - "If I get you those earrings, do you promise not to flush them down the toilet?". I am exceptional at doing silly little clumsy, awkward things like that, but that is all part of my magical appeal. And that's my story and I'm sticking to it.


Laura said...

I dropped an earring down the sink last week. I use the soap dish as a quick drop for jewelry (since it doesnt get used for bar soap).
I jostled the dish and one of my favorite earrings fell into the drain.
So sad.
I'm still a little blue about that.
Maybe your husband should just buy you CARS.

Aimee said...

Oh toilets . . . I've had quite the day with mine today. Let's just say it involved two plungers and lots of old towels that had to be thrown away!

But I've never dropped anything valuable down mine, so I guess that's my silver lining, right? ;)