Saturday, March 03, 2007

God's Big Hand

Farewell, Grandma. You will be missed.

I found out in the car yesterday morning, almost just as I was pulling into the parking lot of school. I walked Jacelyn up to class and was about to beat a hasty retreat to the car when another K4 mom stopped me and asked how I was doing. "My gramma died" I sobbed, surprising even myself. She comforted me, and offered to take Jacelyn for a play date over the weekend - very sweet. I made it to the safety of the car where I could cry with some dignity and drove to Jen's house, for an hour or so of inappropriate humor with the sisters.

I went to work, and left for the day when it was time to pick up Jacelyn. Down the road from school a little, I told her: Grandma had died and gone to heaven. She paused in her examination of her homemade 'Cat in the Hat' hat and said, "When will she come back?" Oh, Lord. "Well, she isn't. Once you go to heaven you don't come back". Another pause. "Well, how did she get to heaven?" Jacelyn asked. I thought for a moment, could come up with NOTHING, and answered, "I don't know". And she replied: "I bet God put his big hand down and scooped her up out of bed and put her in another bed in heaven". Me: "I bet you're right". Jacelyn: "Did you forget my juice? Because I'm thirsty". Whew. Made it through.

Considered going to McGuire's with the sisters and Steven, but ended up not going. Not because I felt it inappropriate, but because I spent some time at my aunt's house, and by the time I got home to feed Jacelyn I was exhausted and leaking from my nose (I might be catching a cold). Jacelyn and I ate and then snuggled on the couch for the rest of the night. I was sad, and tired, and sick, and just wanted to be with my baby. Hopefully the family can all gather together sometime, maybe today or tomorrow.

Sunday I have two church rites. At the 10:30 mass is the Rite of Sending, where the congregation sends us off to the Rite of Election, which is at 3:00. I'm excited but tired and feeling icky. We'll see.

1 comment:

Nicole Lenz said...

I've just spent the past hour reading your blog and catching up with your life. I read most in the wrong order, of course, but I wanted to stop here and say how sorry I am about your grandma's passing. I wish I could have been there for you. :(