Dear Me

My esophagus just flared into burning agony. Heartburn rears its' ugly head. There's a lot going on right now. A lot of irons in the fire, and my, oh my, someone is going to get burned. The next few days are pivotal, in their own way. I can't do anything about what may or may not transpire, but what may or may not transpire will affect my life and the quality thereof greatly. I can't really say anything, or offer any specifics, but things are hopping. And not hopping in a cute little bunny sort of way; more like the hopping of enormous boulders falling down the side of a mountain and onto someone's head. I will let you know.

Nothing Going On

Not a whole lot happening here. I have started then deleted this post three times now, disgusted by my own overly-wordiness. So I have decided to go with bullet points. Nothing makes you attempt to be concise like bullet points. That being said:

• Jacelyn has come home with a stomachache the last two days. Yesterday, after an hour of misery, she was in the bathroom pooping in an explosive manner and confided in Michelle that she doesn't poop at school, only at home. Because it's gross to poop at school. We all tried to bolster her bathroom confidence and assure her that pooping at school is indeed OK, but she seemed dubious. So I wrote a note to her teacher, laughing uproariously the whole time, asking poor Mrs. Myers if she could somehow let Jacelyn know it's ok to poop at school. Then got the giggles while wondering if that note would go in some file somewhere at school, and when she's at her eighth grade graduation we will find this note about preschool pooping and laugh.
• Jacelyn's Daisy troop leader asked me if I would be a co-leader next year, and I think I'm going to accept. I think I'm doingly it purely for the patch Jacelyn will receive (it's huge and says, "My Mom's a LEADER!"), but regardless of motive, I'm leaning towards agreeing. I'll probably agree, anyone, since I lack the ability to say no. But that's ok.
• Jacelyn got a birthday party invitation from a classmate yesterday for a party that is this weekend, making me feel a little less behind the ball for not having her invitations out yet (Jacelyn's party is April 21st). It is for some Jump-Up place that is apparently one big moonwalk/trampoline. I've heard it's really cool. What I found terribly amusing, in a rather sad commentary on our society kind of way, is the liability waiver on the inside of the invitation that must be signed and turned in at the party. That is from the establishment, not the parent, and I understand why they have to do it, but it was still funny.
• I'm going tomorrow to pick out invitations for Jacelyn's birthday party. We are having a luau, complete with leis and the whole nine yards. For those of you familiar, it will be where Brian and I got married, which is also where Jacelyn had her first birthday party. It's going to be ridiculously expensive and stressful, but you only turn five once, so what the hell. Michelle won a free trailer rental at the same park where the picnic pavillion is, so we will actually be staying out there for the weekend. We are considering sending Jacelyn back with Brian's parents after her party and de-stressing with some serious drinking. Sigh. Why have we made birthday parties so hard? Why can't it be easier? Well, it could be easier, but I won't get into that, here.
• That's about it. Brian will be in town tomorrow, for the first time in two weeks. Jacelyn is looking forward to that. I'm looking forward to my day off tomorrow, since my schedule has been thrown all out of whack by my vacationing sister (hope you're enjoying yourself, Jennifer). Later!

A Change?

I should change the title of my blog, because I don't think it accurately reflects my life anymore. Back in the day when I first started posting intimate details of my life on the internet via blogger, Jacelyn wasn't in school, or enrolled in any activities, or doing much of anything other than hanging out with her aunt. Now? Ha! Totally different story. I'm very glad - I think it's so much better for her, and for me, but damn, I'm tired. I remember choosing that title because I felt as though I had nothing, really, to report on. Teresa was in a foreign country, Jen going to school and working and being a band director and all the other stuff Jen does, and then there was me: working. Going home. Working. Going home. Now there' s a few more things in between.

I am, as I write, looking woefully at a page long e-mail I received from Jacelyn's Daisy troop leader. Cookie money is due soon (and not everyone has paid me, yet), at the next meeting I have to remember to bring a gallon container, a flat rock, and two recyclables (they are making the world a better place via those items, don't ask me how), there's a meet and greet with female pilots at the base on March 28th, on March 31st there is a camp day, on April 14th there is a cluster party, and on April 20th the girls are meeting at Sam's Fun City. There are also some tentative hike plans. Sigh. Many of the activities are on Saturdays, which means that I can't go. Jacelyn could go, if someone else would take her, but I hate to ask anyone. Busy, busy.

Teresa taught me how to knit, and I have been knitting small, misshapen things that are not easily identifiable. It's a nice, mind-numbing activity, though, that I enjoy, so I will probably continue making small, misshapen things. Thanks, Resa.

I just finished reading 'A Prayer for Owen Meany' and enjoyed it thoroughly. I would like to see the movie that is loosely based on the novel, but I haven't been able to find it anywhere. It's called 'Simon Birch' and doesn't follow the book too closely, but the book was so good that I want to see the movie.

That's it, for now. Maybe I shouldn't change the title - I still don't have a whole lot going on.

God's Big Hand

Farewell, Grandma. You will be missed.

I found out in the car yesterday morning, almost just as I was pulling into the parking lot of school. I walked Jacelyn up to class and was about to beat a hasty retreat to the car when another K4 mom stopped me and asked how I was doing. "My gramma died" I sobbed, surprising even myself. She comforted me, and offered to take Jacelyn for a play date over the weekend - very sweet. I made it to the safety of the car where I could cry with some dignity and drove to Jen's house, for an hour or so of inappropriate humor with the sisters.

I went to work, and left for the day when it was time to pick up Jacelyn. Down the road from school a little, I told her: Grandma had died and gone to heaven. She paused in her examination of her homemade 'Cat in the Hat' hat and said, "When will she come back?" Oh, Lord. "Well, she isn't. Once you go to heaven you don't come back". Another pause. "Well, how did she get to heaven?" Jacelyn asked. I thought for a moment, could come up with NOTHING, and answered, "I don't know". And she replied: "I bet God put his big hand down and scooped her up out of bed and put her in another bed in heaven". Me: "I bet you're right". Jacelyn: "Did you forget my juice? Because I'm thirsty". Whew. Made it through.

Considered going to McGuire's with the sisters and Steven, but ended up not going. Not because I felt it inappropriate, but because I spent some time at my aunt's house, and by the time I got home to feed Jacelyn I was exhausted and leaking from my nose (I might be catching a cold). Jacelyn and I ate and then snuggled on the couch for the rest of the night. I was sad, and tired, and sick, and just wanted to be with my baby. Hopefully the family can all gather together sometime, maybe today or tomorrow.

Sunday I have two church rites. At the 10:30 mass is the Rite of Sending, where the congregation sends us off to the Rite of Election, which is at 3:00. I'm excited but tired and feeling icky. We'll see.