"....he gave me a look like I had farted in church"? Stephen King has used it once or twice, I believe. I now know what that look is, thanks to Jacelyn. We were in church Sunday. We were standing, singing the entrance hymn. A gentleman had slipped in late and was still on the kneeler, directly behind us. Jacelyn was standing on the pew, singing along, words she was making up. The hymn ended, all was silent, and.... Jacelyn farted. Loudly, and with gusto. And if that wasn't enough, she felt the need to narrate: "Mommy, I just farted. Excuse me." And right in the poor man's face. I looked at her, jaw gaping, then looked down at him. He was looking at her, then looked up at me, there was a moment of indecision on both of our parts, and then he laughed. I laughed, nervously, and in a horrified kind of way.
Fast forward: end of mass, we are off to the school cafeteria for a meeting. We are sitting in this cafeteria with three other people: two gentlemen and another woman. Jacelyn is standing on the chair, singing loudly because she is enjoying the acoustics of the room. She stops singing and....farts AGAIN. Loudly, and with gusto, possibly still appreciating the acoustics of the room. There is another frozen moment of indecision that even Jacelyn joins in: she looks at me, concern on her face, and checks out the other people in the room. Finally, one of the men chuckles. It was what the room needed: everyone else starts laughing, Jacelyn included. I apologize, and life goes on. I ruminated on it for a little bit, and decided to let it go. Everyone farts, some of us have more control over it than others, and no harm was done. And the acoustics were good - it echoed, y'all. Echoed. Good for her. I'm sure she had to feel better after that.