So, out of guilt....oops, I mean, a burning desire to help, I agreed to sell scrip cards to parishioners after mass. Sigh. I was very up-front about the whole thing, though - I said that I am on my own with the two kids (one of whom is a ten-month old boy), so I will have to be selling with both kids (did I mention one of them is a ten-month old boy?), and that there might be days where I am late or sick, and that I would like to be able to re-consider at some point if it seems like it isn't working out (probably because of the ten-month old boy). That might sound terrible, but I have learned the hard way that I have to be completely upfront, open and honest about things like this, otherwise people's expectations exceed my abilities, not to mention my availability. I'm sorry, I want to do what I can for Bella's school, I think it is a great school, but there is only so much time I'm willing to dedicate away from my family.
Last year I was asked to help out with the annual school fun run, and when I told the woman that I was only available after 5PM because of my job, she actually bristled and said, "Help can't always be on your terms". Hmm, that's true, but help doesn't pay my bills, and my job does. And if I don't have a job, I can't pay what I pay (including the annual tuition increases!) to send my daughter to school here. Sigh. I'm so bitter. It's not that I don't want to help, it's that I can't think of a way I can help that doesn't involve me missing out on time with my kids, time that is rare already because of my job. I guess I'm searching for that elusive balance everyone seems to be looking for. If anyone finds that, let me know.
Have a good weekend!